I’m not exactly sure if my story counts as sibling abuse, but here it goes. A little background- I am the third of four girls, currently ages 20, 17, 16 (that’s me) and 14. I get along the most with my oldest sister; she’s never done anything to hurt me and she sticks up for me when my other two sisters do things. The earliest I can remember them doing things is maybe when I was around 6 or 7; my sisters would hit and kick me. I’d try to hit back, but you must understand that I A) bruise easily B) have a very low physical pain tolerance and C) don’t like fighting, so I was only doing it out of self defense. My mom broke us up most of the time, she didn’t like us fighting, still doesn’t, in fact, and we stopped after a few years. The effects of it stayed with me for many years (about 4-5 primarily, and still some today); I tended to get very violent physically with my closet friend, who I apologized to earlier this year to for that because I realized why it happened. I still react very violently to things sometimes. After the physical abuse, and a bit during as well, came the “sister club”, as I call it; my sisters, excluding my older one, who was in highschool so we didn’t get to hang out much, would do things together, play together, generally just exclude me. It made me feel very alone. I turned to reading a lot, which is still one of my favorite passtimes, despite how it got started. I also tried to find creative outlets: building and inventing things; writing; drawing; coloring. I still like all of these things very much. But my creativity, which I loved and my relatives praised, my two sisters called weird and strange. I even tried to make things for them, to get them to like me and my creations, but to no avail. So from about 12-14, I was your stereotypical angsty preteen who thought it was me against the world. I listened to more alternative music (still one of my favorite genres), read, didn’t talk much, wore darker clothing even. This semi coincided with the ending of my tomboy epoch, in which I acted like a guy because I only hung out with guys because girls, from my experiance with my sisters, were terrible, mean people. I had difficulty adjusting to going to school (I was homeschooled until the ninth grade) because I was so accustomed to closing myself off so no one could hurt me. Nowadays, my older (not oldest) sister is a bit better, but she still blows up at me over nothing and gangs up on me with my younger sister. My younger sister has only gotten worse; she nags me, berates me, what I like, what I do and my property, she acts nice one minute but starts yelling at me the next, she acts sweet around other people but is really mean in private, so no one believes me when I say she’s a bully. Because that’s what she’s become- a bully who berates and belittles me to higher herself. I guess, to summarize, my older sister was kind of worse when I was younger, but she’s gotten better and my younger sister is getting steadily worse. I count down the days until we don’t have to share a room anymore and I don’t have to hear her complain about my “crap” being everywhere or her not turning off the light when I’m trying to go to bed early, even though I do that for her. I’m waiting to be rid myself of the nagging and whining and complaining and backstabbing and two facedness that is my younger sister. And my oldest sister is great. And no, my parents aren’t neglectful; they do love us, though I do have a case of middle child syndrome. But when people say “oh, it must be great to have only sisters!” I scoff and reply “no, it really isn’t”. Then they ask why, and I come up with some crappy reason like “oh, lots of drama all the time”. And they say “oh, well I sure wish I had three sisters!”. And I just sigh as part of me wished I did too, instead of a sister, a semi sister and an abuser.
It’s hard when you find yourself bullied by one sibling, but it’s even harder when you find yourself essentially being bullied by multiple abusers. And while your parents may not be neglectful, you still should explain to them what’s going on and how your sisters make you feel. Their behavior to you is harmful, even if it doesn’t seem that way to your parents. They need to know what it does to a person. And never forget, you’re not alone. We know what you’re going through.